Coming Undone
by dakinevamp
Summary: This is Jacob's view point during the wedding in Breaking Dawn. Filled with tons of werewolfy fury. Rated M for language.


Coming Undone

_A/N: Song is by Korn called Coming Undone. It fits this situation perfectly. I used all the dialogue from Breaking Dawn to make it seem more real. Hope you guys don't mind._

_Disclaimer: Don't own um. Just love um._

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**Keep holding on  
****When my brain's ticking like a bomb**

_Why am I here again? _I kept asking my self as I shuffled Bella around the dance floor. I looked down at her glowing face. _Oh right because I love her._

We danced around making small talk. I felt myself sliding back into it pretty easy. Even after being a wolf for so long. I said she looked beautiful in her dress, _She would look beautiful in a trash bag,_ she commented on my hair, I talked about her being happy, she asked if I was, then the conversation took a serious turn.

"Insanity is probably easier than sharing a pack mind. Crazy people's voices don't send babysitters to watch them."

"Huh?"

"Sam's out there. And some of the others. Just in case, you know."

"In case of what?"

"In case I can't keep it together, something like that. In case I decide to trash the party."

_That wouldn't be such a bad idea. It actually sounded kinda fun. I could finally get rid of some of this pent up rage. I could brake things…people… _

I glanced over at Edward, his eyes glued to mine. He was tensed up, warily watching me dance with Bella, waiting for something to happen.

**Guess the black thoughts  
****Have come again to get me**

The conversation went back to normal. We talked about Seth, I couldn't help making a jab at the bloodsuckers making Bella's face flush with anger. _God, I'll miss that. _Though I ended it before it turned into a fight. We went back to chatting, she asked again if I was happy, _She couldn't let go of that could she?_, then the song ended and before I knew it Bella was crying. I wiped the tears off of her cheek, hating myself for doing this to her. _I should've never come._

Finally, after some teasing I got her to stop crying and attempt a smile. I laughed, she looked so funny, a_nd beautiful, amazing, wonderful, perfect, lovely…and not mine._

"I'm going to try remember you like this. Pretend that…"

"That what? That I died?"

I clenched my teeth. _Not here, not now. You are here for her. For her happiness. Don't ruin it for her. _After I finally calmed down, I answered her.

"No. But I'll see you this way in my head. Pink cheeks. Heartbeat. Two left feet. All of that."

_Everything I loved about my Bella…but she wasn't mine. Not anymore._

She stomped on my foot as hard as she could. I didn't even feel it. I smiled at her kitten like fury.

"That's my girl."

_Man. Will I ever stop loving her? Will it ever be enough?_

I looked up again to see Edward still staring at us. His posture was tense, filled with angry possessivness.

_No. I don't think it will. Fuck._

**Sweet bitter words  
****Unlike nothing I have heard**

But there was something pestering me, in the back of my mind. I couldn't ignore it. _Not right now, not when we are so happy. I only have her for so long . But I have to know…_

"What is it, Jake? Just tell me. You can tell me anything."

I stumbled over my words. "I--I…I don't have anything to tell you."

_She knew me to well. Damnit._

"Oh please. Spit it out."

"It's true. It's not…it's--it's a question. It's something I want _you _to tell _me_."

"Ask me."

_Should I ask her? Do I really want to know?_

"I shouldn't. It doesn't matter. I'm just morbidly curious."

She understood what I was getting at.

"It's not tonight, Jacob."

At her words, a wave of relief so strong washed over me, I feared the emotional one would be able to tell. I quickly glanced over at him but he was entrapped by the hyper pixie of doom. I grinned looking at her bouncing around, chattering away to other people while he just stood there, glaring at every male that looked like he wanted to approach them. I pitied him. I brought my attention back to Bella.

"Oh," I tried to hide my relief, "Oh."

_Calm down boy, she said not tonight but she didn't say it wasn't gonna happen._

That dowsed me in a wave of cold water. Almost but not quite giving me the chills.

_It had to happen eventually…_

"When?" I whispered.

"I don't know for sure. A week or two, maybe."

_So long? I'd have thought he would be jumping at the chance to suck her dry. I'll never understand these fucking leeches._

"What's the hold up?" I couldn't help but sound mocking.

"I just didn't want to spend my honeymoon writhing in pain."

I couldn't help but be sickly amused.

_Stupid leeches and their facades. Like they would actually…but still, I can't believe they keep getting Bella to lie for them._

**Sing along, mocking bird  
****You don't affect me**

"Kidding, Bells. But, honestly, I don't see the point. You can't have a real honeymoon with your vampire, so why go through the motions? Call a spade a spade. This isn't the first time you've put this off. That's a _good_ thing, though. Don't be embarrassed about it." I was truly earnest.

But for some reason, my speech angered her.

"I'm not putting anything off," she snapped.

"And _yes_ _I can_ have a real honeymoon! I can do anything I want! Butt out!"

I stopped where I was, putting our amateurish dancing to a halt. My eyes bugged and I felt something within my snap. I was immediately filled with horror.

_Not putting it off? She…real…honeymoon…NO. _

"What?" I gasped. "What did you say?"

"About what…? Jake? What's wrong?"

"What do you mean? Have a real honeymoon? While you're still _human_? Are you kidding? That's a sick joke, Bella!"

She glared at me.

"I said butt out, Jake. This is _so_ not your business. I shouldn't have…we shouldn't even be talking about this. It's private--"

**That's right  
****Deliver it to my heart  
****Please strike  
****Be deliberate**

_Did she have any idea how much that news hurt me? I couldn't accept it. I had to block the pain or I would phase right here. Right now._

My hands began to shake. I had to grip her arms to stop them.

_She can't. I won't let her. He'll kill her. I'LL FUCKING KILL HIM!_

**Wait, I'm coming undone  
****And soon I anticipate**

Bella was saying something but I was too lost to hear her. I began to shake her.

"Bella! Have you lost your mind? You can't be that stupid! Tell me you're joking!"

I continued to shake her. Maybe if I shook her enough, she would get the point.

_Maybe she would come to the realization that he was horrible for her, he was too dangerous, she wouldn't be happy with him…unlike me…_

I was snapped back to reality by Bella's words of pain, "Jake--stop!"

**I'm coming undone  
****What looks so strong, so delicate**

The darkness was suddenly very crowded.

"Take your hands off her!" the leech's voice threw daggers.

I couldn't let go of her. If I let go I would lose her.

_He'll kill her…kill him…I can't…SHE can't…_

I heard Seth's voice urging me to let go.

"Jake, bro, back away,"

He stood next to _him_. Like he was siding with them, instead of me.

_Like I was the enemy. _

**Choke, choke again  
****I find my demons were my friends**

"You're losing it."

I stood there, frozen. I couldn't stop staring at Bella, horrified.

"You'll hurt her," Seth whispered. "Let her go."

"Now!" _He_ snapped.

**Getting me in the end  
****They're out to get me**

I dropped my hands. Instantly Bella was snatched away from me and hidden behind _Him_. But not only did _He_ block me from her, but so did two of my pack, in their wolf form. Quil and Sam it looked like from the black and chocolate brown fur.

_Always looking out for me. Part of the pack. Willing to die because of me. Probably even before I was a werewolf, before any of this had ever happened, probably before I even knew Bella. At least someone cares..._

**Since I was young  
****I tasted sorrow on my tongue**

I could feel Seth's arms lock around me. Holding me back, almost like he was protecting me.

_Protecting me from what? It should be the other way around…_

**And this sweet sugar gun  
****Does not protect me**

I was shaking uncontrollably. I would be phasing soon and with Seth so close…

"C'mon, Jake. Let's go."

I stood where I was.

_I WANTED a fight. Something to get rid of the pain. Maybe they would kill me. There were enough of them. If I took a lunge, surely they would stop it._

I couldn't break my gaze from his.

**That's right  
****Trigger between my eyes  
****Please strike  
****Make it quick now**

"I'll kill you," I choked out. My voice barely above a whisper. I was so filled with rage my vision was darkening.

"I'll kill you myself! I'll do it now!" I shuddered, my frame beginning to blur around the edges.

**Wait, I'm coming undone  
****Unlaced, I'm coming undone**

I heard Sam growl sharply and I held onto my human form.

_Just for a few more seconds…we need to take this to a less public place…then I can have HIM. I don't care who tried to stop me. I'd take them all down._

"Seth, get out of the way." _His _eyes never left mine. He flexed his fists, showing his teeth, murder in his eyes. I'm positive I didn't look any different.

**Too late, I'm coming undone  
****What looks so strong, so delicate**

Seth tugged on my arm again, since my attention was focused on _Him_ he was able to tug me a few feet into the forest.

"Don't do it, Jake. Walk away. C'mon."

**Wait, I'm coming undone  
****And soon I anticipate  
****I'm coming undone  
****What looks so strong, so delicate**

I looked at Bella. I didn't want it to end like this. I didn't want this to be the last time I saw her.

_Not like this…_

**I'm trying to hold it together  
****Head is lighter than a feather**

But then I saw her grab _His _hand and _He_ instinctively wrapped _His_ arm around her waist. Protecting her from something.

_Me I guess. The bloodsucking asshole saves the damsel from the enraged werewolf. Huh, funny how things work out…_

**Looks like I'm not getting better  
****Not getting better**

Sam put his head on my chest and shoved, looking like he was trying to order me in his Alpha voice. If I had been in my wolf form I would've been kissing dirt by now.

_I could just imagine what he was saying..._

_"Jacob. Move. NOW. You aren't going to change anything and you are just endangering people. Us. Our secret. You are endangering HER."_

_Well...fuck me. This isn't fair._

I finally started to move, although still reluctantly. I still had to be pushed and shoved because my feet wouldn't move on their own accord.

**Wait, I'm coming undone  
****Unlaced, I'm coming undone  
****Too late, I'm coming undone  
****What looks so strong, so delicate**

With the two of them pushing and pulling me they were able to shove my quivering form into the forest, away from everyone. The last thing I saw was Bella's terrified eyes.

_Terrified from me. The true monster._

**Wait, I'm coming undone  
****And soon I anticipate**

I shook them off of me. I needed to phase. I couldn't hold it back anymore. They had to get away from me before I hurt them.

They backed away but didn't leave. They would never leave a pack memeber. _Not even when I needed it the most._ I saw Quil trot to us from were the wedding was. He let out a low whine. They stood in a loose circle. Blocking me from the party.

_Blocking me from hurting anyone…_

I began to ripple along my spine. The rage took me over and I threw my head back with a ferocious snarl. I heard the ripping of my clothes and dropped onto all fours. The change taking me over. It was too easy to phase now.

_I'm becoming the animal I am._

**I'm coming undone  
****What looks so strong, so delicate**

Finished phasing, I turned and ran. I couldn't face them. Not like this. I could hear their pity in their thoughts and it just spurred me on faster. I ran deeper into the forest. Running away.

_From what though? Them? Her?_

_No. The pain._

Stopping on a cliff I knew was only a mile or two away, I stared at the moon and let loose a piercing, heartbroken howl.

I let all my pain and fury go into that call. I felt it reverberate off of the trees, growing fainter in the distance. I'm positive anyone at the wedding would've heard it.

_I fucking hate everyone, including me._

I turned and ran. Where I was going I had no idea. But I wouldn't be coming back anytime soon. I just had to get away.

**I'm coming undone**

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_A/N: So I want to know what you guys think of my interpretation of Jake's thoughts during the wedding scene. Did I get it right? PLEASE RXR!_


End file.
